Thank you to member S. Renee Mitchell for sharing her thought-provoking poetry with ninety-nine girlfriends and the world.

Forced In The Silence to Listen

when this threat of harm has passed whether through death disease or determined intention my goal is to be different more purposeful more aware

today I am allowing seemingly immaterial moments to become a mirror

inform me of the ways I need to

adjust fine tune & confess the names of people I should forgive

with this forced silence prompted by an invisible enemy I am learning

& eusocial insects

to serve as sages

with open heart to turn inward to discover wisdom

love

who would have guessed the clamorous buzzing of bees which once stirred fear frustration fury even could teach life lessons about whom I decide to allow into my life whom to let go of & who to just let be

more & more I am asking myself what can those who are annoying

disrespectful callous & unkind
teach me about the peculiarities within myself

healing & to graciously

let go of the habit

to go outside of myself

for self-soothing

in each moment I can allow myself to get caught up

in the insistence

irritation & distraction of someone else’s way of being

- or -

I can unattach to an outcome

decide not to uncomfortably shift deliberately swat

or demand they be different I am becoming better at recognizing that heated words

are emotional billboards

hiding in plain sight displaying a longing to be seen

heard to feel safe & anger absence annoyance is sometimes / most times

ALL times just an expression of distress tightly wrapping itself

around the weight of anxiety or the horror of relentless ruminations

your buzzing about is rarely ever about me

& not even a worldwide crisis will prompt some folks

like most humans bees cooperate in the caring for one another each bee’s existence leverages an intentional interconnectedness an individual contribution toward the collective good

as they collect nectar to make honey their rapid wing-beats stir vibrations that agitate a plant’s pollen which fertilizes the next visited flower

eventually bees return to the hive carrying reserves to feed the larvae & even though most die before the fruit of their labor is realized reciprocity is mutual survival

to show affection beyond

their capacity to love themselves folks can’t give you something they don’t possess

or graciously receive something

they don’t believe they deserve

so I am listening better now yesterday I could easily

so consider, if you wil

the next time you are confronted with an irritating animation of energy you have a choice, you know

each encounter with another

have found blame

and assigned it a home

is an opportunity for an unfolding of a new truth an invitation to re-see reality

but today I chose to choose differently I decide to see purpose

& pose a self-reflective question which can shape one’s becoming:

in our crossed paths

a deeper reason

for our relationship a richer purposefulness for our friendship

am I hearing or am I listening?

Forced in the Silence to Listen

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