Philanthropy-R-Us

Imagine the surprise of Washington Women‘s Foundation founder Colleen Willoughby when the headline “Charity Belle” appeared on a 1998 People magazine article about the group’s 25th anniversary.

“She was horrified,” said her friend Paula Liang, a founding member of the Women’s Giving Alliance in Jacksonville, Fla.

Sexist headlines notwithstanding, print still carried some heft back then. People magazine enjoyed eternal life in dentists’ offices and hair salons. Women from around the country began contacting Willoughby, telling her about their collective giving circles or asking her how to establish one. After about 10 years, it became clear that a network was afoot.

After an initial meeting in 2009, the Women’s Collective Giving Network was born. Sometimes it takes a while to get the baby’s name right, and when the group was unable to trademark the name “Catalist,” the canopy organization that represents more than 17,500 women worldwide and more than 75 member affiliates, also worldwide, was rechristened as Philanos.

Liang, the board chair of Philanos, bristled slightly at the suggestion that the new name sounds like a pharmaceutical company, or maybe one of those prescription drugs whose side effects include scarier conditions than the reason you’re taking it. In fact, she said, “Phila” is the Greek root for “philanthropy,” and “nos” means “us” in Greek. Get  it? Philanthropy-r-us.

This name seems bound to stick, as Liang reported that Philanos has just completed the first round of review with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, “the only functioning arm of the U.S. government.”

Earlier this year, just before large gatherings went dark with the arrival of the corona virus, Philanos held its ninth conference in Seattle. A delegation from ninety-nine girlfriends was among those in attendance.

Philanos estimates that its member organizations have granted more than $140 million to nonprofit organizations.

With her home community of Jacksonville smacked broadside by Covid 19, Liang and her husband hightailed it to their ski house in Vermont. In a phone interview from her mountainside aerie, she discussed both the changing face of women’s philanthropy and the stunning potential of collective giving.

Gone are the “charity belle” days when wealthy white women won admission to what amounted to sororities for grown-ups and earned their cred by selling fancy label castoffs in the groups’ thrift stores or sponsoring tables at black-tie galas. Or as Liang put it, “so much for bake sales.”

While many of today’s collective giving circles, such as ninety-nine girlfriends, set a substantial bar for joining in order to maximize grant amounts, “the goal now is to bring a lot more folks in at a smaller figure,” Liang said.

“You can have as much impact in the aggregate,” she went on, adding, “there’s a lot of talk about time, talent, treasure and testimony.”

Just this past April, Philanos itself became part of PhilanthropyTogether.org, an effort launched with $2 million from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Along with seeking to triple overall collective giving within the next five years, the new umbrella group is hosting webinars led by grass-roots organizations around the country. Among the topics: community practice around racial equity. Ninety-nine girlfriends’ members are eligible to sign up for these sessions, via www.philanthropytogether.org.

– Elizabeth Mehren

Your Brain on Walking

Remember the PSA “This is your brain on drugs”? I’ll never forget it. Commercials seemed so much better when I was younger. There were great jingles that have stuck with me for decades and those Rainier Beer spots were so clever. I think we need a new PSA: “This is your brain on walking.” 

Part of my wellness routine is a daily walk—alone or with others—rain or shine. It’s a habit that began in the mid-’80s when a knee injury ended my running habit. (Amen! Truth to be told, I did NOT enjoy anything about the running except the high I got when I stopped.) 

That’s why my friend Amy Varga’s recent LinkedIn post “Sorry, I have a walk scheduled then” really resonated with me. I know that I’m more alert, focused and creative when I get my walk in, but it wasn’t until I talked with Amy about her post that I got to thinking about how helpful it could be to share the benefits of walking. Hoofing it is an especially valuable activity during the pandemic if you are able-bodied and have access to a safe space outside with good air quality.

Amy owns The Varga Group, a Portland-based firm that offers leadership coaching along with other important services for non-profit organizations. These days, she is primarily being asked for leadership coaching. Amy sees this as an opportunity to help leaders ask how they are taking care of themselves. “For nonprofit folks, depending on their mission, everyone feels like the stakes are high and there is so much stress,” she explained. “Psychological boundaries can be especially hard for them because oftentimes they are asking themselves how they can prioritize taking care of themselves over providing services to others.”  

Amy suggests a different lens. So much leadership development focuses on the neck up, but our physical self has an impact on our ability to think and work. “We need to prioritize sleep, hydration, and physical exertion—they are as important as our other competencies. It’s crucial to recognize that, although we are all doing our best and working at our jobs and more, we are also doing this other body of work which is attending to the stress of the moment—and it’s no small task.” 

We cannot serve others as well if we are exhausted, distracted or depressed. And in this time of confinement, we all need some kind of escape valve. Amy suggests carving out some time to reflect on what is and is not serving you and your wellness. Do more of the prior and give the latter the boot. 

How are you taking care of yourself? Got time for a walk? it could benefit you in a multitude of ways and It doesn’t cost money, you don’t need any fancy clothes to do it, and if you’re keeping your distance from others you don’t even need a mask. 

— Tammy Wilhoite

Me with my friend Claire on a pre-pandemic walk

Amy and her workout partner, Gus

Spotlights Ready to Shine

The last time I had an in-person meeting on Girlfriend business was a lovely breakfast upstairs at Café Du Berry in late February. Five of us met to begin planning our Spotlight Study Series -- four teams to research and present out on topics that members had identified as priorities. The coffee was strong, the conversation was stirring and I left energized and excited to begin the work.

Three weeks later, our world completely changed and we wondered if we could go ahead at all and if so, how would we do it. With a pandemic coursing through our nation and the planet, would enough girlfriends be interested? Was this the right time to launch the project? After much discussion, and with some trepidation, we decided to move forward.

The spotlight is now shining on the 28 team members who researched, wrote reports and are planning virtual presentations. You can access their written reports here and sign up to attend the virtual presentations (formerly called Discovery Forum) here.

I very much look forward to the next time I can have breakfast out with a group of Girlfriends and plan another project together in person. And the experience is a wonderful reminder of what we can accomplish, even when we are only coming together in the virtual world.

— Barbara Hilyer

Breathe

I love quotes. I end nearly all of my emails with a quote that I think somehow connects to the content of the email. Quotes can be both inspiring and fun. They start conversations. They provoke thought.

One of my all-time favorites is Terri Guillemets’ “The wisest one-word sentence? Breathe.” 

This quote is even more thought-provoking now, in the face of the deaths of George Floyd and Eric Garner and the others who had their breath stolen from them by people who didn’t value their lives.

Then there’s COVID-19, which has ended many lives by attacking the lungs of grandmas and grandpas and parents and siblings, making breathing impossible.

And there are environmental quality issues stealthily impacting the air we breathe.

As a student and advocate of meditation I believe that, at this time of great stress and upheaval, one of the smartest things we can do is breathe. Breathe slowly and deeply and then do it again and again and again and while you’re breathing remember what a privilege it is to draw another breath.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” ― Amit Ray, Om Chanting and Meditation

— Tammy Wilhoite

The Balm of Bees

There may be as many ways to cope with these challenging and uncertain times as there are people. After I started collecting bees last spring, I read a line in Lulu Miller’s new book Why Fish Don’t Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life that may partly explain my new passion:  “Psychologists have studied … the sweet salve that collecting can offer in times of anguish.” This quote seemed perfectly suited to our current times and my new pastime. 

Our family owns forest land in the coast range west of Portland. Over the years, we’ve monitored a variety of things in our forests, from birds to amphibians and creek bugs to water temperatures. We’ve often talked about what else to add. Last summer  I was introduced to the Oregon Bee Atlas (OBA), and began collecting bees in our forests.

Native bee populations are declining throughout the world, including in Oregon. In order to understand how and why this is happening, the Oregon Bee Atlas is developing an inventory of the state’s native bees and their associated plant-hosts (where the bees collect pollen and nectar). The organization also  is conducting ongoing  surveys of bee populations to assess their health. Through OBA, native bees, collected by citizen volunteers throughout the spring and summer flowering season, are identified and become part of a publicly accessible database.

As a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, the OBA training materials moved online and time spent in our forests, where social distancing is the norm, became even more appealing. I have been collecting bees on a weekly basis throughout this spring and summer. You can get an idea of my bee collecting with this video, which shows a yellow-faced bumblebee gathering  pollen on goldenrod, a bright yellow flower.

I was collecting bees off of this goldenrod when I spied what looked like a sleeping bumble bee. I captured it gently in my net and was surprised to find a bright yellow spider clinging to the bee’s back.Appropriately, it was called the goldenrod crab spider (Misumena vatia). The spider had its long legs wrapped around the bee with its fangs dug into the crease between the bee’s head and thorax. In the photo below, although the spider is no longer attached and therefore does not show the “venom” position where the spider injects a neurotoxin into the bee, you get a great view of the spider on the bee’s back. The time I’ve spent observing and collecting has provided a very welcome balm during these uncertain times.

— Pam Hayes

Put a Stamp On It: When an Envelope Makes a Statement

Thanks to girlfriend Heidi Yorkshire for reminding us, in an earlier blog, to watch this month’s PBS documentary in observance of the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage. I had my own memory-jog about this important occasion as I stood in line at the Savier Street post office in NW Portland. (Yes, I was masked, yes I was socially distanced and yes the guys at the counter were also masked, and working behind giant plastic shields. But that is not the point of this post.)

‘Fess up: Are you a creature of the Pleistocene, like me? Do you still, occasionally, write actual checks from an actual checking account at your bank? Do you put them in an envelope and mail them? Here is where I fall into whatever geological age came before the Pleistocene: I send birthday cards, graduation cards, congratulations-on-your-new-job/home/spouse cards. I have a wide array of cards designed to say thank-you. I have been through enough tragedy to know the meaning of a sincere, hand-written sympathy note. I would shoot myself before I would stoop to e-sympathy.

The glass case in the center of that small post office branch houses what used to be known as “special edition” stamps, more formally called commemoratives. My theory is, if you’re going to mail something, at least make it look interesting—colorful and possibly even artistic. I have a drawer full of cool stamps that I hoard for various missives. My collection of Wonder Woman stamps is especially impressive.

Kay, the nice guy who has been franking my packages since I moved to Portland, said he had never seen wrapping quite like the configuration I placed on his scale. “Trapezoidal,” I said, explaining the ziggurat of puzzles clad in brown Fred Meyer bags and headed for our granddaughters in California. Then I asked if I could please buy several sheets of the new forever stamps I had spied in the glass case, marking the 100th anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote.

The stamp was designed by Postal Service art director Ethel Kessler, with original art by Nancy Stahl. Alas, said Kay, not yet. Although the glass case label said “available in August,” what it meant was sometime in August. Maybe that means Aug. 18, the actual ratification anniversary date.

The new imprint is the Postal Service’s latest acknowledgment of the fight women waged to prove that when our country’s founders crafted that phrase about all men being equal—oops, it simply slipped their mind to mention women as well. A 32-cent stamp in 1995, for example, took note with the words “Freedom/Equality/Progress” of the fact that for more than a century, women had been denied the right to vote. The same year, a 78-cent stamp honored suffragist Alice Paul, founder of the National Women’s Party. It was Paul who organized a march of 8,000 people down Pennsylvania Avenue, the day before Woodrow Wilson’s inauguration.

As a compulsive package-mailer, I will likely be back on Savier Street by mid-August. I will scoop up many sheets of the new suffrage stamps, just so Wonder Woman will have some company in my desk drawer. Meantime, Kay advised me to consider grabbing some of the new Bugs Bunny stamps. “They’ll go fast,” he counseled. So I sent off a sheet of Bugs and his pals to our 6-year-old granddaughter Annie, in hopes that she will become a letter-writer, too.

— Elizabeth Mehren

Putting Her Soul Into It: How Collective Change Can Be Therapeutic

Ellen Stearns came upon The Soul Box Project two years ago at a Moms Demand Action event. She was moved by the mission and its founder, Leslie Lee, an artist who launched the project as a way to cope with this country’s epidemic of gun violence. Lee had spent a sleepless night trying to process the horror of the 2017 mass shooting in Las Vegas that left 59 dead, 413 injured and countless others heartbroken and scared. She decided to model The Soul Box Project after the AIDS memorial quilt, creating an ongoing artistic effort that would allow individuals a wide range of self-expression.

Ellen was so impressed that she gave up a host of other volunteer jobs to join Leslie’s core team of eight.

“I like group efforts. I like the collective trying to bring about change,” says Ellen, fourth year girlfriend and Portland activist. “It’s why I like ninety-nine girlfriends and it’s why I’ve gotten so involved in The Soul Box Project.”

 More than 100 people are killed in the U.S. each day by gunfire and the ripple effect is huge. It’s no surprise that nearly 125,000 Soul Boxes have been made and sent in to support the goal of creating a visual representation of the enormity of the gunfire epidemic. Making a Soul Box is simple, and the act can be therapeutic. One needs just two pieces of 8.5-inch X 8.5-inch paper and the desire to share thoughts or feelings on what will become a 3-D origami box. Whether expressing grief for a family member or a stranger affected by gun violence, creating something positive out of their sense of loss, or as an expression of love, people from Oregon and across the country have been moved to fold.

All kinds of groups, including book clubs, students and faith communities have discovered the Soul Box Project and have created boxes. A fall exhibit of the collection scheduled for the National Mall has been postponed for now and a virtual one is in progress, but it’s not too late to pour a little of your soul in a Box and share it with the Project. Who knows? You may find it therapeutic too.

— Tammy Wilhoite

Introducing the Blog: Stories with Heart

Fun things to do during the pandemic: Heidi Yorkshire, Marcy Newton, Kaye Gardner-O’Kearny, Tammy Wilhoite and I have been brainstorming for several months now on how to humanize a group whose mushrooming membership roster means more money to give away, but also jeopardizes the intimacy implicit in the term “girlfriends.” We are a whole bunch of smart, interesting women doing cool things. But with more than 500 members, how do we get to know one another? If we ever are able to have a gathering that is not virtual, who do we figure out whom to sit with?

We scratched our heads, discussed the meaning of life, quoted from Faulkner and Proust, traded recipes and finally figured it out. The result is a recurring blog that will appear on the ninety-nine girlfriends website.

Our marching mantra is “stories with heart.” We will write about members, comparable groups elsewhere and grant recipients. We will consider issues of concern to all of us, with a focus on who among us is working to resolve those issues. We will write about members at home, on the road, in the workplace. We will explore activities we are pursuing or actions we are taking to remain (relatively) sane during this terrifying global health crisis. I confess: I have even written one item about an especially alluring ninety-nine girlfriends pet.

We welcome suggestions and submissions, with the caveat that we are the self-proclaimed editing empresses. We promise not to cry too publicly if we receive gentle criticism.

This is an evolving, ongoing experiment. We are unlikely to crusade for a Pulitzer Prize, but we do hope our effort will help us all to feel more connected with ninety-nine girlfriends.

– Elizabeth Mehren

Life Lessons from Akuna

Now is probably a good moment to confess that during the pandemic, I became a stalker. 

Well, wait: My obsession with a certain large, meaty male actually started at a ninety-nine girlfriends Summer Social in 2019. Sure, the backyard setting at the home of Kit Schon and Penney Stephenson in Portland’s fifth quadrant, North, was lovely. The guests were interesting and conversation was lively.

But from the moment I arrived, it was Akuna who commanded my attention.

“Is he…” I started to guess: Siberian Husky on steroids? Malamute crossed with Shetland pony? I am on the board of the Oregon Humane Society, after all. I know my dog breeds.

“Woolly Mammoth,” said Stephenson.

Of course. I should have known.

In fact, according to his business card, this 6-year-old Alaskan Malamute named Akuna is a model and life coach who has hundreds of friends on Facebook. (Shamelessly, I confess that Facebook has recognized me as one of Akuna’s most loyal followers.)  Now that he and his two moms are back in Portland after a 6 ½-month road trip to the East Coast and back, he has fans in every state they visited. In Bar Harbor, Maine, it took Akuna and his humans two and a half hours to walk five blocks, because so many people wanted hugs from him.

“You can’t get far when the Pupparazzi are after you,” a storeowner told Schon.

If, as Stephenson contends, dogs come in small, medium, large and OH MY GOSH THAT’S A BIG DOG, Akuna owns the latter category. It. would be tempting to call 130 pounds his fighting weight, but Akuna never fights. He also never barks, except for an occasional “oof” when he wants to go in or out of the house. He lets children, adults and puppies crawl all over him.

Akuna was three years old when Schon and Stephenson adopted him from a Malamute rescue program in Washington. Every morning, he calmly allows Stephenson to brush his lush silver, black and russet fur. When he smiles (which is almost constantly), the long dark stripe on his nose crinkles in its own expression of joy. Sprawled out on his humans’ back porch, he resembles a canine monarch in playful repose.

As a coach, Akuna offers three life lessons: Smile, slow down and talk to strangers. This peaceable giant, who has never been known to have had a bad day, might also borrow a phrase from “Hakuna Matata,” a song from “The Lion King” that sounds mightily like his own first name.

That phrase? “No worries.”

– Elizabeth Mehren

Member Spotlight: Nancy Johnson

I have been looking forward to writing Nancy Johnson’s member profile as she was the one who introduced me to ninety-nine girlfriends three years ago. Nancy is a close family friend who I have known my whole life. I’ve spent countless birthdays, holidays, and movie nights with her and her family. As I’ve gotten older, Nancy has been a wonderful friend and even flew all the way to Connecticut to attend my college graduation. I’m excited to share a bit more about Nancy and what she does within the organization. 

Nancy first heard about ninety-nine girlfriends through her friendships with founders Eileen Brady and Molly Cliff Hilts. “At first I thought it was way over my head,” says Nancy.

That changed when Eileen asked her if she wanted to design the logo for the organization. Once a specific role presented itself, she became convinced to join as a member. Nancy has been contributing her graphic design skills to the organization ever since and is on the Communications Committee. 

If you’ve admired the simple and hip formatting of the event programs, you can thank Nancy! Nancy designs all of the print material for ninety nine girlfriends, along with member Joya Menashe. She draws experience from years as a graphic designer for doctors, art galleries, and retail shops. “I was doing graphic design when we still had to hand-cut typesetter’s galleys and use wax to tack down designs on boards.” Nancy also designed the iconic ninety-nine girlfriend logo that we know and love. There is heartfelt meaning behind the crisp and simple design. “I wanted to pick a color that was feminine yet strong,” Nancy says. She selected the color out of a painting by Rick Bartow, the legendary Oregon Native American artist, who had recently passed away. The font was also wrought with meaning; it was from my mother’s business card who had also recently passed away. “It’s personal. It’s paying homage to two people that I felt connected to.” 

When she’s not designing, Nancy sings and plays percussion in a band with Molly Cliff Hilts and a few other members. Pre-COVID, they would meet weekly and play Neil Young, Tom Petty, and David Bowie covers. “We performed at a birthday party once, but it’s mostly just for us.”

With more time spent indoors lately, Nancy has tried her hand at the often daunting desserts featured in the Great British Baking show. “I think that COVID has inspired me to do more in-depth cooking projects” She recently made aebleskiver, danish spherical pancakes, using a special aebleskiver pan.

– Azul Tellez Wright, ninety-nine girlfriends Fellow